More Church Bulletin Blunders

[Severina]

1. Announcement in the Church bulletin for a National Prayer and Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals"

2. Miss Charlene Mason sang " I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

3. "Ladies don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands"

4. Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers! Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

5. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

6. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on Water". The sermon tonight: "Searching For Jesus"

7.Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

8. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

9. During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare priviledge of hearing a good sermon when J.F.Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

10. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy"

11. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

12. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

13. Don't let worry kill you off-let the Church help.

14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the Church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practise.

16. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

17. The senior choir invites any new member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

18. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

19. Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

20. The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

21. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

22. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

23. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

24. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

25. Potluck supper Sunday at 5.00pm-prayer and medication to follow.

And finally this one was actually in my own Church Bulletin when discussing the pros and cons of putting money in the church plate as opposed to paying direct through the bank...

Pros. Easy to record and the Church receives much needed funds.
Cons. You have to go to Church each week to contribute.

Funniest things I've heard all day, the one about boy scouts crippiling children had me in tears.

Very, very good Severina. Had a really good laugh! Thanks a lot!

[LyricB]

That's too funny! It's amazing what things will come out when people don't proofread their writing.