Who Did It?--Episode 1

[John Jude Farragut]

Earlier in the year, I started a series of short mystery stories involving the Super Mario characters. As with my other works involving videogame characters, the "Who Did It?" tagline gave me a lot of ground to modify things to my liking. For example, four characters have new last names; Mario and Luigi were initially given the surname "Mario" (Mario Mario, Luigi Mario), and I honestly didn't like that. So, I changed that and gave them and Bowser different last names. Yoshi gets a last name, too! (See what I mean? I've got all kinds of weird ideas!)

Anyway, on with the story. This first mystery takes place during a time in the Mushroom Kingdom where not much is happening. Of course, all that's about to change--but not in typical ways. The clues in this mystery are all here in the story, and this isn't too hard to solve as long as you read it carefully.

Well, are you ready? Here goes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who Did It?

Episode 1

by John Jude Farragut

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ah, more punch for you, then, Yoshi?" asked Toadsworth, standing behind an elegant crystal punch bowl. Princess Peach's head steward was dressed in a cummerbund and a dark tweed suit.

"Sure," said Yoshi, wiping sweat from his bulbous nose. "Thanks; I could use some."

Toadsworth let out a content sigh. After all, the night was perfect for the ball. Everything inside the grand ballroom within the Mushroom Castle was decorated to perfection, and everyone hoping to participate in the ball was able to arrive that night. The most notable guests were Yoshi and Birdo, Toad and Toadette, Luigi and Princess Daisy, Koops and Koopie Koo--all of them groomed and clothed like the sons and daughters of a nobleman.

As Toadsworth poured punch into Yoshi's glass, he glanced around the room and saw the guests chattering merrily amongst themselves.

"Hmm. I daresay that you're not ready to stop dancing now, especially after that one round you did."

"That's why I came to you. I need something to drink," piped Yoshi. With his other hand he lifted a foot off the ground and showed Toadsworth the sole of his leather shoe. "Look at this. If I keep dancing harder, these aren't going to last very long! Let's just hope they don't play 'The Crocodile Rock' again!"

"Yes, quite right," chuckled Toadsworth politely. "Huh. Now, where did Mario and Princess Toadstool run off to?" he added, his British accent taking on a heavy tone.

"Eh, beats me," replied Yoshi, tugging at his red bowtie. "Maybe--maybe they went on a walk or something."

"Hmm. That's strange. Would--would you mind keeping vigil over here?"

Yoshi put on a perplexed look. "Huh?"

"Watch this table, will you please?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, sure. Gotcha."

As Toadsworth exited quickly, Yoshi's beady eyes never lost sight of him. Yoshi swallowed hard and tried to focus himself on serving the guests. But, his gaze was fixed on the ballroom doors.

"Hey, buddy," growled a burly figure jokingly, tapping a knuckle along the rim of the punch bowl.

Yoshi didn't reply, but instead continued to stare at the doors.

"Hey, Yoshi! Come on! I'm waiting here. Are you tryin' to get a tip here, or what?"

"Oh, sorry, Wario. And, for your information--wait a minute. What are you doing here? You don't even have a date!"

"No, but I'm playing the guitar for these crazy dances. People don't know how tiring it is, so can you pour me some punch, or can't you?"

"Yeah, sure. One glass coming up." Man. Toadsworth's more cut out for this servant business than I am. I'm already starting to get impatient here!

"Uh, could you make it eight? Me and the rest of the group, we gotta have something, too."

"Fine. How do you think you're going to get all those over there?"

"I'm not. You are!" Wario then let out a taunting laugh.

As Yoshi scowled and began to fill the other seven glasses, the punch began to ripple. Soon, the whole table began quaking--followed by the whole floor trembling.
"Uh-oh. What's going on here?"

The towering ballroom doors flung open--and in their wake was a pudgy monster decked out in a hideous lime green suit. Right away, the whole room echoed the startled gasps and outcries of the partygoers. It was the first time anyone had seen Bowser suited up.

He laughed heartily and said, "Man, I love messing things up! It's about time I found this room, too; do you know how long I wandered around here?"

"Oh, brother," droned Yoshi softly. "What the--Kamek? You're here, too?!"

"We meet again, old chum," sneered the cloaked Magikoopa, smirking connivingly. One could see a cruel look through his nearly opaque Coke-bottled glasses.

"Holy cow! Look at this!" guffawed Bowser, stomping into the room. "I've never seen so many monkey suits and Cinderella dresses!"

"Where on earth did you get that suit?" mocked Toad. "Big, Tall, and Neon?"

As Toad's taunt echoed throughout the room, all eyes turned toward him in a puzzled fixity. Even Bowser was befuddled; he couldn't even think of a response!

"Wherever it was," droned Kamek under his breath, "I'm sure there weren't any mirrors."

"Whatever," droned Toad. "Man! That suit is about to blind my eyes!"

"Too ravishing for you, eh? You need me to take it off, then?"

"NO!!" shouted the crowd in unison.

"All right, all right. Bowser, you got our attention," announced Yoshi half-heartedly. "Congratulations; you're the gaudiest Koopa alive. So why don't you go back to where you came from?"

The crowd shouted out in agreement and boldly stepped toward Bowser in order to push him out. But, before Bowser reacted, one of the Toads burst inside the ballroom. He was sweating and screaming maniacally, "Emergency! Emergency! Princess Toadstool has vanished!"

At once, the crowd was thrown into a panic--save Bowser, who raised a bushy eyebrow and smirked. The scene was all too familiar: too many times had he kidnapped Peach and thrown the castle into a panic.

The next thing he knew, all eyes were focused angrily at him. With the crowd, it became all too familiar.

"What? Hey, hey, I didn't do it this time!" argued Bowser. "I just got here!"

"Just like all the other times when you kidnapped Peach. You just got here," replied Yoshi.

"Hey, I didn't do it!"

"I'd like to see you prove that," said Luigi simply. The crowd roared in agreement.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Bowser backed away. "I--I can prove it to you!" he cried, trying to mask his panic.

"Uh, Sire, you can't, technically--can you?" wondered Kamek, an eyebrow rising above his Coke-bottled eyeglasses.

"Here's a way to solve this," said Bowser. "You can't prove that I did this--and, heck! I can't, either! That lets me off the hook!"

"Not so fast," piped Luigi. "Think about all the times you kidnapped Peach in the past! That's on your track record!"

"Yeah? Well, I--I--" Bowser stammered nervously, tugging at his neon green bowtie. "Hey! Who's to say one of you didn't do it? Huh?"

As the crowd exchanged shocked replies, a grinning Bowser loudly continued, "Where's Toadsworth? Where's Mario? Who left this room before Peach disappeared? Can you tell me that?"

The partygoers exchanged anxious glances. The unthinkable had happened. Bowser was right.

"All right. Until the police arrive," proclaimed Luigi, looking around the room, "we're going to need to have a trial."

"What? Are you crazy?"

"It's the only way. It's like you said: Anyone here could have run off with her. I'd like to form a search party, but I'd rather go find my brother myself."

"I think that's best," said Yoshi. "We'll stay here. I think we all have to, anyway; the rest of us are all suspects."

"Oh, come on!" bellowed Koops, waving a hand in the air. "You think we'd kidnap Princess Toadstool?"

"Can we prove we didn't?"

Koops's hand slowly fell. He shook his head.

"Just play along," whispered Yoshi to the crowd. "That might get rid of Bowser and keep him quiet."

"Another thing you all need is someone who can piece together everything," said Luigi. "I think Daisy should do it!"

Right then, Bowser broke into cruel laughter and slapped his knee.

"Uh-uh!" protested Daisy. "Hey--what about Toad? He's kept an eye on things ever since the party started, and he does like those mystery stories."

"Well, if no one else wants to do this--be quiet, Bowser--Toad, you want to give it a shot?"

"Yeah, all right," replied Toad, a faint nervousness in his voice. "I don't know what good it'll do, though, but if it helps us find Peach, then--I'll try it."

* * *

A few minutes later, Luigi sadly trudged back into Mushroom Castle. There was no sign of Mario, Toadsworth, or Peach; it was almost as if they really vanished!

As the police formed a search party and began to look for Peach, Toad and the dozens of remaining guests turned the ballroom into a makeshift courtroom. All of the tables and chairs were moved toward the walls. Toad decided to use Donkey Kong's drum throne as his chair. Granted, it wasn't as though the people were ready to go through with a trial; Koops, Bowser, and Kamek agreed that the whole notion was a gigantic overkill. But, Toad believed that the order and structure of a trial would help to make the clues surrounding the mystery fall into place. Besides, it wasn't often that Toad was able to help out in a major way, so he soaked up every moment of the process.

There was no jury in his trial; everyone was a suspect, expected to defend himself and present his own case. Because there were over five dozen guests, Toad decided to take roll of everyone there, much to the crowd's annoyance; as he quickly went through the invitation list for the party, Bowser mockingly mouthed the words and rolled his eyes.

Finally, the trial began. Toad sat upon a leather drum throne and held a punchbowl ladle in his hand.

"Thank you all for your cooperation. In order for us to find Toadsworth, Mario, and Princess Toadstool as fast as we can, I need you all to continue to bear with me here."

"Hey, Toad!" mocked Bowser with a gigantic grin.

"Ugh! What?"

"Hey, you forgot to check to see if Princess Toadstool's here!"

Toad slowly shook his head as a few muffled titters rang out from the crowd.

"All right. Before I call anyone to the stand, I'll show you my evidence now. Toadsworth and I were setting up the party when he left for no reason. He didn't tell me where he was going, but I looked around while we were setting up the courtroom, and a surveillance camera watching over the courtyard wasn't working. Strange thing is, when I checked the computers, I found that the camera went blank one minute before we heard that Princess Toadstool was missing.

"All right. Now, will the following defendants rise," he announced, looking squarely out at the crowd. "Yoshi Yoshi, Luigi Fovignolo, Kamek Koopa, Bowser Marz--"

"Hey!" roared Bowser, leaping to his feet.

"Agh-h-h! Of all the nerve! What is it this time?!"

"No last name!"

"I didn't say it earlier, all right?"

"Just--don't."

Once again, Toad shook his huge head. "Fine. Anything to keep this moving. Just take your seat, thank you.

"Look, everyone. I'm sorry this has to happen. I really am! But, we've got no way around it. Princess Toadstool is an asset to the Mushroom Kingdom, and if anyone wants to help keep this trial going--be quiet, Bowser--then, I'm all for it!"

"Um--excuse me, Toad. I don't think it's a good idea showing you this," said Luigi, "but, I have Mario's cellphone with me. There's something you should hear. The police already heard it."

Luigi pressed a few buttons and handed the phone to Toad, who listened to the recording. After a few seconds, his face fell. "Peach has to disappear." Then, another segment of the recording. "Bowser and Kamek are on their way."

Toad sadly handed the phone back to Luigi and said, "Kamek, do you have something you wish to share with us?"

"All right, all right! Jeezaloo! How long are you going to drag this out? I knocked out the camera! I did! Bowser saw this as an opportunity to kidnap Peach again!"

"Kamek," growled Bowser, "what do you think you're doing?!"

"So, he did do it?" mumbled Yoshi.

"No, I didn't!" repeated Bowser zealously.

"Kamek?"

"What business would I have kidnapping Peach, anyhow? When we entered the ballroom, we were looking for Peach, but she wasn't here!"

"Yeah, and there's something I don't get," growled Bowser. "Why did Big Green here keep that phone message from his brother a secret?"

"L--Luigi?" stammered Toad. "I'd hate to believe it. Why did you keep this from me all this time?"

Luigi didn't reply.

"Did you kidnap the princess?"

"I can't prove that I didn't," he replied. "I do have to tell you this, too: Yoshi has been acting strangely all evening. I think we can agree to that."

"Hey!" bellowed Yoshi, his lower lip curling.

"I'm--I'm sorry, Yoshi. I don't know what to make of you! You've been acting shifty ever since we got here!"

"Don't just assume I did it! Think about Toadsworth!"

"Toadsworth?"

Yoshi turned to look at Toad. "What you said just a few minutes ago--it sort of explains Toadsworth being weird! He was being strange earlier, too. I was getting a glass of punch when he had to take off or something. He just told me to man the table, and that's all he said as he left!"

"What motive would there be for him to kidnap Peach? It makes zero sense!" argued Luigi.

"Yeah, and why would the rest of us do it?" piped Koops. The rest of the crowd echoed his sentiment loudly.

Toad let out a heavy sigh and tapped his knee with his fingers. "This is too weird. This is--just insane! Who kidnapped Princess Toadstool?"




Who did it?