Poem based on Habbakuk

[crazygit]

Lord, where are you?
Are You near
Whilst here I languish?
Why do You not show your face?
Though forces oppress
You do not save
Though people scar me
You do not rescue
And I can’t speak for weeping
And I can’t walk for shaking

Though

With you, I soar
To incredible heights
Yet you are with me in
The deepest of dungeons
And I will praise your name
Though whilst here I languish
And I can’t speak for singing
And I can’t walk for dancing

Amen


God bless
Mim

thank you, Mim. i am sure everyone of us has been at that place...

God is good, and He is faithful. He always comes through. hallelujah!

That is absolutely beautiful Mim. I mean, incredibly poignant, lovely, moving.

Do you mind a slight suggestion, which I think would make it a perfect poem? Use just a bit more naturalistic language. "Whilst" could be "while" in both instances, and "while I languish here" is stronger than "whilst here I languish", as it is more like the way ordinary people talk.

Don't take my criticism as anything other than a real pleasure in perhaps the best poem I've read on any forum. I would strongly encourage you to work towards publication. That really is one of the finest pieces I've seen in a long while, the quintessence of Habbakuk. Thank you so much for making my day.